Me, You, & Money

What is the number one reason for divorce? Many would argue that a high percentage of married couples get divorces over money issues. Over the course of dating the topics of budgeting, spending habits, income, credit, & saving never came up? We all know (or we should) that communication is one of the top contributors for a healthy relationship, but I'd venture to say the continual discussion of money and all that it entails should be one of the top contributors for a healthy relationship as well.

Yesterday, I had conversation regarding this topic with a friend and he said, "I used to think it was funny when women would joke about wanting a man to have "good credit". Now I see how important it is but I'm making sure I ask what kind of debt do YOU have sweetie because 'we' aint finna get together and your credit f--- up all my plans".

He made a valid point, you need to be made aware of your partners financial position and habits before you walk down the aisle and say "I do". You see how they might handle money on the superficial level, dates, functions, traveling,...but what do the deeper levels look like. Can they afford the lifestyles they portray and handle financial obligations? Point blank can they handle money?!

Are they in debt?  By how much? Do they have a game plan to eliminate their debt or do they not care and instead continue on their merry way racking up more debt?  What are their views AND practices on budgeting, saving, spending, investing. Hell, what are their financial vices!

Money is on everyone's mind and yet when it need to be discussed it's considered taboo and swept under the rug hoping the issue will solve itself (which it won't). Just as a relationship needs "open communication" there should be open "financial communication".

There was a women who was to be married to a guy who was probably great but he was a POOR manager of money. He'd spend money on nice looking things and gifts for her but neglected the more important responsibilities to the point the women had to bail him out and help pay his bills several times. When she came upon a large sum of money she had to hide that fact from him for fear he would drain the funds. Not to say she won't have a successful marriage, but that marriage will most likely be a financial headache.

I am by no means a financial expert, but I know the money I have in the bank, I know what I owe towards my debt and recurring bills. I'm trying to pay off my student loans (prayerfully in less then ten years) and not incur more debt in the process. Yes... I've been know to occasionally rob "Peter" to to buy shoes for "Paul". Or I see how I can switch funds around to make a purchase. I believe that money is so important across the board whither you are single, in a relationship, or married, your economic status or race.

I have financial goals and aspirations now and if the day comes some significant other enters my life I want them to also be working toward their financial goals. They don't have to have them mastered but be continually striving. Be a person that together we can be on a similar page and strive to meet financial objectives we have set together. They need to be an asset and not a liability. "We can't get our dream house...naw... not even that... a decent house or roof over our head cuz you got effed up credit?!" #nawboss

Who your partner is, is important but you also have to look at how they handle money. I don't expect everything to be financially perfect, that would be unrealistic, but I am a proponent of continually striving to better one's self. So before you make that serious commitment before God and man sit down and have some serious talks over money, it will pay off.

Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy.