If Love Could Have Saved You

This past weekend at my mom's church they had men's day, as part of their service they wanted to take a few moments to remember my dad. One of the elders said a few words about my father and what he meant, the men sang one of his favorite songs and since it was men's day they asked my brother to say a few words. So the night before my brother came up with the following poem.

Listen..... If love could have saved you, you wouldn't have died.


Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy.

7 Random Musings From the Weekend

(Its clearly Wednesday.... But I wrote this all out on Monday lol)

1. I really enjoy having people over for dinner and hosting. I wish I could do it more often.

2. Be confident. Sometimes you just gotta take a chance and go with it.

3. I actually really like skating. I don't know why I don't go more often. I secretly wish I could dance on
skates. I don't dance in real life how I'm gonna dance on skates is just... beyond me... but whatever.

4. I'm growing as a person. The loss of material things doesn't bend me out of shape like it used to. ( I broke the screen on my phone over the weekend...I was blown but shrugged it off and went about my day)

5.  Sometimes you just don't want to do anything, cook, plan, organize...etc. Everything is a down right chore!

6. Winter is coming! do you know how sad I am that its getting cold?!

7. The feeling you get when you have read a book in its entirety is great. Its almost a feeling of accomplishment.

 Tasha, Me, and the god bro out skating

and also my dinner guest :) 

 Skating

Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy

Sheléa - Seeing You (Official Video)

The Cold Is Coming....

I'm pretty sure that last Friday I wore my last summer outfit ( Last time wearing shorts) for the season. I abhor the cold. I'm a January baby born in the Windy City and can't stand the cold! Summer and spring are by far my favorite seasons. I live for summer dresses, short skirts...well...skirts period, shorts, tank tops, sandals and open toe shoes! You can miss me with layering, stocking and tights, jeans, boots, jackets and coats, socks and closed toe shoes... I'm growing weary and depressed just thinking about it! I'm trying to free them legs and be free! But y'all don't hear me....

A fedora and side braid is such a summer look to me. 

Free them legs!!! 

Goodbye shorts *sigh*  till next summer.

Have I mentioned I love off the shoulder tops?

Summer I'm gonna miss you and your hot weather and warm nights. Winter is coming *SIGH* but I'll see you in a couple months ~ KP

Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy

The Bow

I woke up Saturday morning and decided I was gonna put my hair in a bow. I don't remember where I originally ran across this style but it was some years ago.  Recently, while perusing instagram, a friend created a huge bow with a scarf and I was like "I'm gonna do that with my hair". So I did! *shrugs*. My serious side was like "why is there a bow sitting on top your head?! are you 8?!" but sometimes you just gotta roll with something different.

Below are a couple of pics from the weekend and a video on how I did my hair. 

Me and the kid

 

Hi 

 

The total look 

 I don't know what I was doing. 

I look like I have half a leg.

-____________- 

 

Out here looking like Minni Mouse 

*adjusts bow*

One thing I forgot to mention in the video is that I

 recommend doing this style on hair that's a couple of days old. 

Older hair will give more structured bows.

I don't think most people I encountered on Saturday had ever seen anything like it (I could hear the confusion and awe in their voices LOL) but they seemed to like it. This look was definitely new and different... but I had fun wearing lol.

Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy.

Too Black

Changes...

I am Kanetha, and as "simple" as I like to think I am.... there are many sides and a complexity to me. I am by no means a perfect person. I realize my faults and that I still have areas that need extreme growth. God continues to work on and refine me even when I don't realize or always readily see the change. There are people that find fault with me, my behavior, attitude, think I need to smile and be more pleasant or need to have a gentler spirit. Its not to say that these individuals don't have good points, or that I shouldn't take some comments into consideration & shouldn't disregard everything they have said. Some observations are quite valid.  However, one of my first thoughts (whither good or bad, I don't know) is... you don't know from whence I came. Yea... you don't think I smile now and you don't care for my attitude or behavior (unfriend me...please) ... but you didn't know the Kanetha from 18 years ago who did not smile... AT ALL! A man from church used to call me Smiley in an attempt to get me to smile. I used to look at folks with a straight face like "you aint funny. Stop.".  And my attitude was on a hundred trillion. Thats the girl most have no clue about. Yes.... I have a long way to go..... but I have come a LONG way by the grace of God.

One thing I can say about my mid to late 20's is that I do a lot of thinking and reflexion over my life, past, current and future. I'm currently in NC at this... I guess you would call it a women's retreat. Just today.... I said to myself. I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. I'm in a whole other mindset about life. You might not be able to tell it by just looking at me, my appearance or from my tweets, I don't know.... but its so close to the things my mother tried to instill in my as a child that its not even funny. Its so crazy when I think about because when I was younger and my mom tried to tell me stuff I was like "No.... I'm not doing that *insert KP face*".

Anyway, this evening a very special lady in my life and I caught up over dinner. I've known this lady for the past nine years. She and her husband have seen a side and place within me that few people have ever seen or ever will see. She turned to me and said "Kanetha, you're lighter. You aren't the same girl I knew all those years ago at MVTP. Are aren't so angry. I can feel it. You let it go. You're presence is more inviting, its not just your beauty, its the inner you. That why they love you". I was blown away. The fact she could see a change in me was so refreshing. I felt myself getting emotional as I listened to her words, but I'm a thug and and my thug status refused to let me cry unnecessarily in a room full of strangers. She blessed my heart today.  I don't know.... there is just something to be said when people can notice a change in you...  it sort of lets you know you are moving in the right direction.

From time to time... my mom says "I see a change in you Kanetha" which (in my head) I'm like "yea... ok of u say so". But I never feel like there is a change occurring in my life. Yea... I can see change when I look back over the course of my life... but never in the here and now. Once again I'm not perfect.... I still need improvement. Yea my attitude is on one hundred , half the time I don't want to be bothered especially with people and their stupidity, I feel I still dont look all that pleasant lol, and I'm not always happy or nice. But I'm thankful for the changes that have taken place within me... and that others can SEE a change. I'm thankful I'm not where I used to be. And I'm thankful for the future chances that will take place in my life. Yea... I have a long what to go, but what some of you don't realize is... I've also come a long way. I'm not here to make excuses over the things I do/don't do or set up a tent in the land of complacency. I'm here to say thank you Jesus for making me who I am today, for that change that is constantly taking place and for the fact a change can be seen in me.


Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy. 

Sick, Bibimbop, & Karoake For a Birthday Celebration

This past weekend I was sick. My face hurt, I couldn't breath, my nose was running, I was tired and my hair was a total wreck. I don't know about you... but whenever I'm sick my hair is wild and doing the most, its probably because I can't be bothered with it because I'm just trying to breathe and worry about all my ailments I have as I lay upon my death sick bed. I didn't go to church and there was no food (talk about a struggle meal smh).

Anyway, it was my close friend and twin's birthday celebration and I couldn't miss that so I got off my sick bed, got ready and descended my mountain early Saturday evening for a night with friends, Korean food and activities. 

Me in my new favorite shirt. 

Is navy polka dot, sheer and feminine. 

I mean.... whats not to like?!

 

 The crew outside the Honey Pig Restaurant 

waiting to be seated

Me and the birthday girl!

(Being sick shouldn't stop you from dressing up *shrugs*)

Getting ready to eat 

Cran Apple Juice 

Bibimbap.

Listen... who would have thought I'd be in America 

eating Bibimbap?! Surely not I! I thought I had left that 

behind me in Korea... evidently not lol 

Karaoke.

(always entertaining) 

*rolls eyes* Jesus be a fence. 

I don't karaoke. I sit back, watch, and get 

entertained. But Fireworks came on and that was 

our them song in Korea... So I got a little excited 

and grabbed a mic. I almost died -_-  

My sis. 

 It was a good night despite not feeling my best. I always enjoy seeing my friends and the people I love.

Happy Birthday Twin I hope you enjoyed your night!! 

Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy.

Camping With The Fam

This past weekend The Fam went on a camping trip to Deep Creek Park. I have not been camping in ages. In all honestly I had absolutely no interest in going camping (it's too hot for all that!). I wanted to go to the beach however those plans fell threw so I was like I'm just gonna take one for the team. I just knew I was gonna be annoyed and miserable with these extreme weather conditions but it turned out to be a really nice weekend.

This was the first time we have all time to been camping together since pathfinders. We watched the guys build a camp fire, looked for fire wood, cooked over a camp fire, had a worship services, took a 5 mile 3 hour hike throw the woods mid day (maaaan.... it was hot), swam in the lake (I could only stand in the lake to the middle of my thighs....all those people had the water looking brown and me and my germaphoic self couldn't handle it, germs and all o_O), and played bible games older siblings vs younger siblings. It was a very pleasant weekend. I only wish I had a boat so I could have ridden out on the lake....

Camping Pics

 Jon and Jered working on building a fire

 I wasn't trying to get dirty lol 

 Tasha cutting wood

 Gin Chillin 

 Sup guys

The god sibs 

  

 Chillin out reading 

 Singing 

 Hi ;)

 If this isn't the best tent/cot ever! 

 A map of our journey: 

We took the blue trail to the white trail then back to the camp site

 Hikers

Rest and shade! 

 The crew 

 oh....

 Cooking beans and potatoes 

 Camp

Jon making something to check his potatoes lol 

 

 Haystacks 

The lake

 

 It was hot but the weather was actually pretty nice, the company was great of course, the laughs plenty and the memories forever. I'm definitely glad I went.


Live. Love. Life. Enjoy.

Summer Hair Experiment

Yes... I have joined the masses of girls talking about their hair and the products they use.... -______- 

 

This hair thing is just something I want to try and see if I can do. Ultimately, I'd lake to achieve a nice wash n go... but we'll see if my hair is capable of doing that. Even though I've abandoned my flat iron, I'm not living that 'no heat' life. I'll grab a blow drier or diffuser (same thing really) or sit under my hooded drier in a heartbeat! I don't have the time to sit around and let my hair air. I have way too much hair for all that and I hate product dripping on me. Plus.... it takes FOREVER and a day for twists and things to dry on their own and I need them 100% dry before I take them out otherwise.... failure occurs.

I'm sure there is someone out there would appreciate the thick levels my hair achieves from a wash n go when its totally dry...but for me its too much, to the point I can't even think! I need something that kinda holds and prevents it from reaching its full thick potential. That probably sounds a little contradictory since I DO want to wear it out in its natural state (with products in it of course)... but it makes TOTAL sense in my head. And if you saw my hair in its natural untamed condition you might agree and like be "yea......*observes* you weren't lying about it being.........so...... thick." Lol anyway,.... hopefully I can find a product(s) that let me acheive what I want... and if not.... my Paul Mitchell is patiently awaiting my return.


Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy.

Hello Blog.... Its Been A While.

I've been gone from my blog so long the set up as changed! I had to take a moment to explore and get my blog bearings.

Anyway, life has been crazy the last few months and quite frankly I just haven't had the blogging spirit in me. I think I'm back tho lol..... I think. So much has happened in the last few months that has kept me busy and my mind focused on other things.  I've moved to a new apartment down the street from my job that allows me to still go home for daily naps!! I've been doing quite a bit of traveling everywhere between Arkansas to Albany, NY  for weddings, alumni, and a baby shower.

I've also been focusing on just being a better ME spiritually, mentally, health wise, career wise and financially. I'm pretty sure I've settled on a side hustle/ business idea as well so hopefully I can begin to move forward with that. For some reason I find periods of self discovery and growth an exciting time, so I'm thrilled to see what the future holds for me.

So that's me in two sweet paragraphs. There is more...... but I won't bore you with other details.

Me at a bachelorette part 

(that's a virgin drink of some sort... in case you were wondering)

P.S. I've also tried my hand at thrifting the last few weeks. I still lack this whole "thrifting vision" thing.... but I fond some great pieces that I can't wait to blog about including this leather skirt. I've been wanting a leather skirt for a while so I pray I can still pour myself into it come the fall. One skirt I purchased I wore this past weekend and would you believe I did not take one picture? -_-  miss photo queen herself smh. I'll also be trying my hand at altering *crosses fingers and says a prayer*.  Anywho I'm off to do something productive....


Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy.

Fervently Prayer

 (Disclaimer: I wrote this last week... but I'm just getting around to actually posting it) 

Praying and keeping in constant communication with Jesus is vital. Lately I've been burden with the unknown within my personal life, career, and where I'm going to live, etc. I don't have the answers or know what to do but I know Jesus does and I know as long as I stay within His will I'll be fine.

We talk about "Jesus taking the wheel" or handing and surrendering everything over to Him... but the reality of that is hard. I know, personally, I want to be in control, in the "know" and have a solution and a plan available ready to implement. But when I find myself asking Jesus to work things out on my behave, I not only have to pray and ask for His help.... I have to ask for help surrendering also. I have to say Lord..help me give it totally over to you and help my unbelief and any doubt I might have, help me give it over to you 100%. 

When we pray we expect answers. And as great as it would be to have Jesus Himself come down and in an audible voice say " KP you need to do x,y,z" He doesn't always do that. Last week (two weeks ago) in a moment of confusion and distress I broke down in my car in literal tears (and I HATE tears) and literally cried out that after weeks I wasn't hearing His voice and I didn't know where to go or what do. Ultimately, my desire is to be in the will of God because I know there is no safer and better place then His will. I sincerely believe He spoke to me within 24 hrs as "loud" as he could about certain aspects of my life that were weighing heavily upon my heart and hurting my mind. Ever thought so much it hurt to think?.... No?... well... that was me.

I realize I need to surrender ever facet of my live over to Jesus  not just in moments of frustration, crisis and uncertainty. How I should respond, jobs, relationships, money, professional endeavors, if I should make a purchase... all should have God's input and blessings. Because when you allow Him the full power to take over...life is so much simpler and makes so much more sense. 

My prayers might not always be answered the way I want or desire, but it will be better for me then my "grand plans". Like I said earlier... I just want to be in the will of God because I know I'll be safe there, He has my best interest at heart and wants the absolute best for me. Why do I need to fight, stress and worry, when I have someone to fight and handle my issues and problems for me?


Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy.

Miranda Lambert - Over You

Since this song came out, I've always liked the chorus. I watched the music video a couple of weeks ago...and I thought it was ok...although the video was not what I expect it to be about. Last week on the way home, in the mist of singing my little country heart out... this song...well the chorus really, reminded me of my dad and how I've felt at times...

But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I’ll be OK
But I’m not going to ever get over you

Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy.

Rascal Flatts = Amazing

I have no shame admitting that I am a country fan... and that I'm a huge Rascal Flatts fan. I listen to country music with the same enthusiasm that I listen to gospel, hip hip, R&B or whatever else I like. Rascal Flatts was the first country music group I really liked so I've wanted to attend one of their concerts for a while. A couple of months ago I looked up their tour dates and when I found that they were going to be in the area... I had to go! So I decided to go for my birthday.

Arriving at the Giant Statiam in Hershey, PA was interesting... I know people must of thought we were at the wrong concert because I didn't see any other black people except those I was with.

The opening acts were good... but Rascal Flatts was great!!!

Hunter Hayes

Lyd, Omoleye, & me

Thanks for coming guys!!

Sara Evans

The crowd

Our view of the stage

Me

The drummer ( he was gettin it!)

Opening song

Rascal Flatts

Jay & Jon Don

Joe Don 

Jay

 Me about the time I "passed out on the floor in contentment"... figuratively of course 

I was on the edge of my seat the whole night. I kept thinking these folks around me are probably like "wow this girl is jamming" and "how does this black girl know ALL the words?!" When I say Racal Flatts is like my favorite group.... believe me people! Anyway... it was definitely a great night and I'm glad a went.  Happy to me from me!!!

One of their songs I caught on tape that nights 

P.S. If you like Rascal Flatts and have the opportunity to see them in concert....GO!

Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy.