I am Kanetha, and as "simple" as I like to think I am.... there are many sides and a complexity to me. I am by no means a perfect person. I realize my faults and that I still have areas that need extreme growth. God continues to work on and refine me even when I don't realize or always readily see the change. There are people that find fault with me, my behavior, attitude, think I need to smile and be more pleasant or need to have a gentler spirit. Its not to say that these individuals don't have good points, or that I shouldn't take some comments into consideration & shouldn't disregard everything they have said. Some observations are quite valid. However, one of my first thoughts (whither good or bad, I don't know) is... you don't know from whence I came. Yea... you don't think I smile now and you don't care for my attitude or behavior (unfriend me...please) ... but you didn't know the Kanetha from 18 years ago who did not smile... AT ALL! A man from church used to call me Smiley in an attempt to get me to smile. I used to look at folks with a straight face like "you aint funny. Stop.". And my attitude was on a hundred trillion. Thats the girl most have no clue about. Yes.... I have a long way to go..... but I have come a LONG way by the grace of God.
One thing I can say about my mid to late 20's is that I do a lot of thinking and reflexion over my life, past, current and future. I'm currently in NC at this... I guess you would call it a women's retreat. Just today.... I said to myself. I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. I'm in a whole other mindset about life. You might not be able to tell it by just looking at me, my appearance or from my tweets, I don't know.... but its so close to the things my mother tried to instill in my as a child that its not even funny. Its so crazy when I think about because when I was younger and my mom tried to tell me stuff I was like "No.... I'm not doing that *insert KP face*".
Anyway, this evening a very special lady in my life and I caught up over dinner. I've known this lady for the past nine years. She and her husband have seen a side and place within me that few people have ever seen or ever will see. She turned to me and said "Kanetha, you're lighter. You aren't the same girl I knew all those years ago at MVTP. Are aren't so angry. I can feel it. You let it go. You're presence is more inviting, its not just your beauty, its the inner you. That why they love you". I was blown away. The fact she could see a change in me was so refreshing. I felt myself getting emotional as I listened to her words, but I'm a thug and and my thug status refused to let me cry unnecessarily in a room full of strangers. She blessed my heart today. I don't know.... there is just something to be said when people can notice a change in you... it sort of lets you know you are moving in the right direction.
From time to time... my mom says "I see a change in you Kanetha" which (in my head) I'm like "yea... ok of u say so". But I never feel like there is a change occurring in my life. Yea... I can see change when I look back over the course of my life... but never in the here and now. Once again I'm not perfect.... I still need improvement. Yea my attitude is on one hundred , half the time I don't want to be bothered especially with people and their stupidity, I feel I still dont look all that pleasant lol, and I'm not always happy or nice. But I'm thankful for the changes that have taken place within me... and that others can SEE a change. I'm thankful I'm not where I used to be. And I'm thankful for the future chances that will take place in my life. Yea... I have a long what to go, but what some of you don't realize is... I've also come a long way. I'm not here to make excuses over the things I do/don't do or set up a tent in the land of complacency. I'm here to say thank you Jesus for making me who I am today, for that change that is constantly taking place and for the fact a change can be seen in me.
Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy.
One thing I can say about my mid to late 20's is that I do a lot of thinking and reflexion over my life, past, current and future. I'm currently in NC at this... I guess you would call it a women's retreat. Just today.... I said to myself. I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. I'm in a whole other mindset about life. You might not be able to tell it by just looking at me, my appearance or from my tweets, I don't know.... but its so close to the things my mother tried to instill in my as a child that its not even funny. Its so crazy when I think about because when I was younger and my mom tried to tell me stuff I was like "No.... I'm not doing that *insert KP face*".
Anyway, this evening a very special lady in my life and I caught up over dinner. I've known this lady for the past nine years. She and her husband have seen a side and place within me that few people have ever seen or ever will see. She turned to me and said "Kanetha, you're lighter. You aren't the same girl I knew all those years ago at MVTP. Are aren't so angry. I can feel it. You let it go. You're presence is more inviting, its not just your beauty, its the inner you. That why they love you". I was blown away. The fact she could see a change in me was so refreshing. I felt myself getting emotional as I listened to her words, but I'm a thug and and my thug status refused to let me cry unnecessarily in a room full of strangers. She blessed my heart today. I don't know.... there is just something to be said when people can notice a change in you... it sort of lets you know you are moving in the right direction.
From time to time... my mom says "I see a change in you Kanetha" which (in my head) I'm like "yea... ok of u say so". But I never feel like there is a change occurring in my life. Yea... I can see change when I look back over the course of my life... but never in the here and now. Once again I'm not perfect.... I still need improvement. Yea my attitude is on one hundred , half the time I don't want to be bothered especially with people and their stupidity, I feel I still dont look all that pleasant lol, and I'm not always happy or nice. But I'm thankful for the changes that have taken place within me... and that others can SEE a change. I'm thankful I'm not where I used to be. And I'm thankful for the future chances that will take place in my life. Yea... I have a long what to go, but what some of you don't realize is... I've also come a long way. I'm not here to make excuses over the things I do/don't do or set up a tent in the land of complacency. I'm here to say thank you Jesus for making me who I am today, for that change that is constantly taking place and for the fact a change can be seen in me.
Live. Love. Smile. Enjoy.
Reading this was such a pleasure. You are a beautiful, brilliant, bright light in this world. I can't wait for you to fully embrace that!
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