It Won't Kill You

Disclaimer: It's my thoughts and opinion and written from a female view (cuz thats clearly what I am) but I think its applicable and applies to both sexes though.

I will be the first to admit I like texting and bbm'ing. I'd even go as far to say I have a slight addiction to my phone. My phone and I sleep together or its at least within grabbing distance. I rarely turn my phone off unless I just don't want to be bothered. I text while driving, in church, working, cooking, around the clock, I've even gone so far as to respond at times while in the shower (yea, yea I know smh don't judge me). I like texting because 1. it is quick and easy. 2. It can be done anywhere and anytime.

I was talking to one of my girls the other day and we were on the topic of guys and communicating with them, specifically, one were there is some type of mutual interest. It seems like getting a text has increase but you are hard pressed to get a call. All this technology with texting and bbm'ing has taken us from the basics and fundamentals of actually TALKING to one another. Conversation has become in a way... dysfunctional. How are you able to really get to know someone via text? All you see are words, their tone can't be conveyed. They may say something and you take it in a totally different manor from what they actually meant. In a way you are hiding behind words. It makes you bold, confident and increases "trash talk" that might not necessarily happen over the phone or in person (we have all been victim to it... I know I have).

You know how you are good friends with someone, you talk and hang out all the time... you know how they react in different situations. So at times when they are texting you, you can "hear them say it in your head" making the message that much better! If you have a texting relationship you won't hear "their" voice in your head. Texts and words are great but if you read their messages with "your voice in your head" you don't really know them. You will read the words and basically hear it the way you would interpret it or want to read and understand it.

I'm not a big talker in general, let alone on the phone... But I can appreciate a guy that will pick up a phone and call me (and vice versa, I don't expect a guy to call me each and every time). There is something to be said for having a actual verbal conversation with someone. It gives you a good feeling and allows you to enjoy and better appreciate the person and the moments spent talking with them. Granted you need personal interaction like going places or hanging out with friends and such as well.

Verbal communication is important. Do you like they way they speak to you? Can you carry on a conversation past "how are you?"... "I'm fine"... "thats good" and bouts of torturous silence? But a actual discussion. Are they supportive of you or critical of the things that proceed out of your mouth? Do they make you laugh and smile? Can they be serious and/or playful? Are they more than just looks, can you have a meaningful thought provoking convo or does what comes out their mouth annoy you to high heavans? All of which can be answered by speaking with someone.

Today's society tries to limit and lesson personal interaction with others in general, not just in male/female relationships. If there is a interest between me and a guy, not only do I want to text him, I want to be able to carry on a good conversation over the phone as well as in person. I don't ever want to think "man our text convo's are more entertaining then actually talking...When will this be over so I can text him again?"

At this age most are interested in getting married at some point, so do you really expect that person you have a texting relationship with to be your future? If someone out there thinks that is possible...I can tell you now, IF it did happen (which its not) it won't last because you built a "texting relationship". You have no idea how to communicate with each other. And in the end... it won't last.

I'm just saying... if you are interested in someone (and even your friends ) take the time out to pick up a phone and call them. A texting relationship isn't going to build a true lasting relationship if that's the primary form of communication. Anyone can text, it takes a bit of confidence to call.

Live. Laugh. Smile. Enjoy